Something wrong.....something very wrong...

I don't understand.....
It was so flawless......
she's still there...
like what I did......
she's eating me away from the inside....
I was an idiot...Koichi-sama was right.....

Hiro came back..saying Paul was still there...he stared at me...like a wolf does at a lamb, he walked away with a smirk and said "You think i'm not going to take it again? it's a matter of time"

when he left...I don't remember how loud I cried out...Paul's barrier prevents much sound from leaving the cave...but I cried until I felt sick inside..time is growing shorter....there have been less opertunities to see Koichi-sama...I promised him my most valuble asset...but if I do not have it...it looks like...if Hiro aproaches me to take it...

I will have to die by my own hands...light has gone...and darkness reins....

what a fool I am....clinging to promises that I can't keep...




[OOC: WARNING WILL ROBBENSON;
one, big huge rant, do not go forwards if you don't want to read frostie go slightly off the wall. >=>;






one big long...UuuuurrrrrrgggghkkkKKSMjsdkadladjlsajdajdlajdDKLCMKLJXCIJa!! >_<;

Some days I think about just killing Esune and starting fresh; or even just killing her and taking a break; it's getting to the point where RPing with someone is two sentances and then someone interupts then I get frustrated to the point of logging off. now people can call me a damn pushover if they want but think of what I have to deal with daily;

#1: I am basicaly the main core of Hidden grass enemies as of now. Aplications and Q&A,
#2: I reply to over 500+ IM's a day in SL;
#3: Working on new and exiteing things for the RP without breaking the damn precious RP rules.
#4: RL family,
#5: and finally Custom textures and objects.
#6: Idiots.

I put up with enough crap not to have to fucking put up with god damn interuptions!

Before Haven all I did was just sit aroung, ocasionally build stuff. and talk with friends, it's like being tossed from one box to another. add on top of all this normal RPing and the frustration just builds up; I'll take five days starting tomorrow to decide if I should kill Esune or punch a wall to suffice my need to kill people;

I'm not sure, this RP is doing alot of things to me, making me more creative, driving me insane, odd fun, making me faitugied, increasing my typeing speed, eating away at my soul, making me some cool friends, breaking my hands, making me some SL enemy cows fo lyfe, and killing me. it's a win-lose situation.

and with this I apologize, it is true, frustration, anger, and irritation is getting the better of my rationality and judgement and my emotions. but I stand firm on the decision for Esune to die or not to die, and if she does if I will replace her. and for what will happen.

We'll see....maybe...depending on how many more annoyances pop up like notices.. -_- )