The longest path...the death clock ticking down.
I haven't had time to return to this journal...to remember the pain...
I did the ritual....but did I fix myself...did I tear the grip around my neck off?
Hiro and Paul went to another hideout to help their friends (OOC: IE school started up for them again so they have zip zilch zero time for SL >_>;)
and I have no idea when they will return to torment me, this body...it does not belong to me...it was Nemu's...but now my mind is so silent...is it actualy driving me mad not to hear voices?
Koichi says he is looking forwards to going on missions with me again...from what I wearily heard through an unconcious state Nekome can't wait to see me dead...Kjinnay is worried...and Shikasama is shocked...Kenkora....seems to be doing well..
my body is in ruins...yet healing, I am forced to use a crutch to escape the death sentance put over my head Shikasama said he wouldn't let that happen...Koichi told me he wouldn't let anyone hurt me....
but what does the Keikage think....I have not met the Keikage except when I was put onto Haruko's team...I was afraid...like she could see right through me...my own intentions...how I was feeling...so angry...towards my brothers...
they abandoned me....and I went after them...I cried for them to keep me close to them...and in the end turned into another puppet...I am not their sister...I didn't want to be alone...
Even when I am with anyone...there is no one who will truely understand..one hundred percent understand what is tearing me apart;
is it a desire to be tortured...do I want to feel pain?
is it my way of feeling alive...I constantly tell myself I have to fix everything by myself....because I trust no one to save me....after Hiro and Paul leaving me..after tearing my body apart...after breaking Kenkora's arms....becoming someone who I wasn't...
there are bloodied tears I cry that no one can dry....
and yet...I wont give up life. until I have kept my promise to Koichi, I promised he could take the most valuable thing about my body....when I still held the form of a child I didn't understand what that meant....now I understand...
I will keep my promise, no matter what has to happen.
( Wheee! more rementing on the past...I chose this video because....well I think of Esune as Sasuke in this...and Itachi times two; ^_^
And I also found out what Ecchi means today!
....I've had the power of the internet for over 8 years now and...I only think now to look this up?! >_<;)
I did the ritual....but did I fix myself...did I tear the grip around my neck off?
Hiro and Paul went to another hideout to help their friends (OOC: IE school started up for them again so they have zip zilch zero time for SL >_>;)
and I have no idea when they will return to torment me, this body...it does not belong to me...it was Nemu's...but now my mind is so silent...is it actualy driving me mad not to hear voices?
Koichi says he is looking forwards to going on missions with me again...from what I wearily heard through an unconcious state Nekome can't wait to see me dead...Kjinnay is worried...and Shikasama is shocked...Kenkora....seems to be doing well..
my body is in ruins...yet healing, I am forced to use a crutch to escape the death sentance put over my head Shikasama said he wouldn't let that happen...Koichi told me he wouldn't let anyone hurt me....
but what does the Keikage think....I have not met the Keikage except when I was put onto Haruko's team...I was afraid...like she could see right through me...my own intentions...how I was feeling...so angry...towards my brothers...
they abandoned me....and I went after them...I cried for them to keep me close to them...and in the end turned into another puppet...I am not their sister...I didn't want to be alone...
Even when I am with anyone...there is no one who will truely understand..one hundred percent understand what is tearing me apart;
is it a desire to be tortured...do I want to feel pain?
is it my way of feeling alive...I constantly tell myself I have to fix everything by myself....because I trust no one to save me....after Hiro and Paul leaving me..after tearing my body apart...after breaking Kenkora's arms....becoming someone who I wasn't...
there are bloodied tears I cry that no one can dry....
and yet...I wont give up life. until I have kept my promise to Koichi, I promised he could take the most valuable thing about my body....when I still held the form of a child I didn't understand what that meant....now I understand...
I will keep my promise, no matter what has to happen.
( Wheee! more rementing on the past...I chose this video because....well I think of Esune as Sasuke in this...and Itachi times two; ^_^
And I also found out what Ecchi means today!
....I've had the power of the internet for over 8 years now and...I only think now to look this up?! >_<;)
posted by Frostie | 7:06 PM
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