Lies and contemplation.....conceal it, seal it.

When I woke up again.....from that dreadful nightmare...staring into Koichi-sama's eyes....I lied saying I didn't know what happend....I could hear, feel and see...but not act....

one bitter failure after another....there is only one option left, I must use the sealing instrument that Kjinnay-sensei gave me...to seal whatever this is away...I wont tollerate my own failure anymore...

this woman....the 'older me' has written many things...that I myself have wished..but never would have....this flute, Kjinnay gave me..he told me not to use it unless it was a critical situation where I had nothing to lose....there is much at stake...but if I can do this...maybe I can atone for the times I have failed Koichi-sama....

I don't know what will happen....I may be ripped to shreds, my soul might combust under chakra pressure, my lungs might explode...there are many ways that this could end...and I only know them because I share one equil mind with this woman...the 100 ways of torture....all the techniques....forbiddon techniques as well...are so familiar to my body now....like I have used them all my life..and yet I still hate using healing chakra...it...is like acid..

Tonight...I will try..Kjinnay-sensei taught me how to do many things especialy how to train myself to move chakra through the flute for a desired effect..such as wind...and only indulged me in a few topics upon mergeing your soul so that one personality would be left...

There is too much at stake if I don't....

If I can..maybe I will have the courage to go back....and confront those I have wronged....

(This music video made me think of Esune, and hooray! for once a post that isn't at 4 AM!)