Kenkora...It might as well be you...

Kenkora....after Koichi had found me, and you followed,
These days I am finding it hard to keep my pact that everything I am...belongs to Koichi....I want to find out who I am...even if it destroys my body in the process...

Talking to Okami takes stress on my organs...but I will live with it, as long as my body looks fine on the outside..what is the difference? I can do as good as the other Genins....I can do better...

I tried to talk to Okami today...it didn't work out well....he didn't tell me anything about Celenta Kinuta...or the stone....and I had to slice into my arm to stop the conversation before he could take over my body again...it seems he has learned to mimic my voice....will Koichi-san be able to tell the difference if so?

Kenkora-kun...when I look at you, I don't feel like a monster,
when I was so close to you last night I just wanted to be held by you...
when I kissed you I wish I didn't run away....

I ran away...because I want you to live...
Kenkora-kun.....I find this hard to say....but...I love you....

how stupid...I can write it on paper but not say it to his eyes...
I just....want to be close to Kenkora-kun....feel his heartbeat...
but for now...I will have to shove my feelings aside....even though Koichi said not to become a cold unfeeling shell around him...I trust Koichi-san,

but since my childhood i've noticed visitors have been giving me odd glances,
as Koichi-san tells me to ignore what other people think...i find it hard,
Living with ANBU for most of my life...i've been forced to grow up....to act older..

it has put so much stress on my mind...I do not know how to act my age anymore....only to act like someone much older....that is why I spend my time in solitude...because my mind, no matter how strong...is deterierating until there is nothing left....I know a great deal of medical history from Reading Paul's books...

maybe....it's this gem...on my forehead....it hurts so much...it's getting to be unbarable...I want this life to be over! but...no one will let me...everyone will stop me...

don't they realize....I could kill their precious villagers...
I have forgone sleep to protect this village....
Okami is too bloodthirsty...and yet his eyes set on the Kinuta clan...

I doubt the Kinuta clan is as evil as he thought they were long ago...
I feel weak today....I've been stumbling in the same alley for six minutes now....what is this overwhelming drain of my mental power?

I have been listening to some Jounins....and my brothers...as well as the Keikage in passing...it seems since there are always odd occurances in the village, even more often a fight or enemy inside the village,

The Keikage said if our defence isn't good enough then there is a possibility we will all split up in groups and go our seprate way leaving the Grass village...(Anyone who reads this, the deeper meaning is: The Simulator closing. if it does i'm going to bump Esune up in age,)

If we do have to abandon the grass village...that will be a goodbye to all...Kenkora....Koichi..I will go to train...harder...and then find them again...I will be older, of more sound mind. I've already planned where to go if we all disband...I will go to the snow country, and see if I can seek training there.
(AKA: Make a village in the sandbox XD)

I know it was kind of peer pressure...but..if I see Kenkora again....and am able to get closer to him...I'm not going to run away...I will tell him how I feel about him...just...so I can lay my head on his chest and feel....real....

and to this....I swear....that no one will stop me....I will live my own life...


(Another AMV from Elfen lied, might have possible nakeds and boobs, and lots of gore, not al gore. I keep thinking of that Pink haired girl as Esune's personality, and I keep thinking of the black haired kid as Kenkora. XD)