I passed! and failed.....
I felt so happy last night, Kjinnay-sensei let me take the exam again, for I had been recovering from over exausted muscles, and missed most classes....
it was a written exam, it was hard, but I was able to do it.
Kjinnay-sensei nearly gave me a heart attack by his heavy sigh and then telling me I passed!
(OOC Frostie: ahahah, I was actualy sweating bullets on it, 4 AM and a written test!)
and then the next day....was a day for failure, another teamwork example...
I am not one for teamwork...since I never learned of it, Since my brothers became higher ranks then Chuunin I have had to take care of myself, and only myself, rareity a interaction daily...
Kjinnay-sensei had the students go to a temple, with three Jounin as the three's leader, there was so much confusion I don't know even what was going on, at the end, I was huffing from running around with my team, I couldn't have felt more horrible if I was under the eye of Koichi-sama during this exam....
Not saying Nekome-sama was any better....I felt like I was a failed ninja, I didn't even know which way was which....i'm sure it didn't even help to my brothers name....the Isuwara name...all of them are in ANBU, except for me...
I have decided my life....if I can not make it to being a Hunter-nin, to work alone....then I will be a medical nin like the rest of the stupid women in this village....
I feel so worthless...I can't even voice my opinion during a exam non the less lead a team, going from complete silence to a roar of thunder, i'm sure most Jounins would argue against my thoughts....but if it came down to two choices during a mission,
Getting my entire team out,
Or to sacrifice myself to get the rest of the team out,
I would sacrifice myself...but of course dear journal, you know that already.
Kenkora...told me we won anyways...but I still feel like I failed them....
there is no worse taste riddling my mouth then defeat and failure....
Koichi-sama said my body and soul belong to him...as true as he may be..as I did agree to those terms, I can still take it out of his hands anytime I want to....
but there would be no less blood in that option....
Tomorrow...what will tomorrow bring....
it was a written exam, it was hard, but I was able to do it.
Kjinnay-sensei nearly gave me a heart attack by his heavy sigh and then telling me I passed!
(OOC Frostie: ahahah, I was actualy sweating bullets on it, 4 AM and a written test!)
and then the next day....was a day for failure, another teamwork example...
I am not one for teamwork...since I never learned of it, Since my brothers became higher ranks then Chuunin I have had to take care of myself, and only myself, rareity a interaction daily...
Kjinnay-sensei had the students go to a temple, with three Jounin as the three's leader, there was so much confusion I don't know even what was going on, at the end, I was huffing from running around with my team, I couldn't have felt more horrible if I was under the eye of Koichi-sama during this exam....
Not saying Nekome-sama was any better....I felt like I was a failed ninja, I didn't even know which way was which....i'm sure it didn't even help to my brothers name....the Isuwara name...all of them are in ANBU, except for me...
I have decided my life....if I can not make it to being a Hunter-nin, to work alone....then I will be a medical nin like the rest of the stupid women in this village....
I feel so worthless...I can't even voice my opinion during a exam non the less lead a team, going from complete silence to a roar of thunder, i'm sure most Jounins would argue against my thoughts....but if it came down to two choices during a mission,
Getting my entire team out,
Or to sacrifice myself to get the rest of the team out,
I would sacrifice myself...but of course dear journal, you know that already.
Kenkora...told me we won anyways...but I still feel like I failed them....
there is no worse taste riddling my mouth then defeat and failure....
Koichi-sama said my body and soul belong to him...as true as he may be..as I did agree to those terms, I can still take it out of his hands anytime I want to....
but there would be no less blood in that option....
Tomorrow...what will tomorrow bring....
posted by Frostie | 7:24 PM
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